Being honest about what we have, or don’t have can be a start to cleaning up our financial life. For whatever reasons (upbringing, culture, entrenched ideas) many suffer from money shame. Sweeping our financial issues and emotional baggage around the issue under the carpet might hide our situation from others, but doesn’t help us, short or long term.
Often, we’d rather not speak up and tell someone if we can’t afford a certain outing or meal with friends. We want to fit in, hang out and be accepted so we can lie to ourselves and others rather than be honest about where we’re at.
There should be no shame or embarrassment in speaking the truth. So, if it’s time for you to ‘man up’ (or ‘lady up’ as the case may be) with your finances, here’s a new way of looking at things that may help out.
Do speak up! Be brave enough to tell your family, kids or friends ‘I’m watching my money these days. I’ve got some dreams I’m pursuing and that’s my current priority.’ It may be that you’ve decided to get on top of your credit card debt, save for that trip you’ve always wanted, be serious about that housing deposit or just be more mindful about where your money goes. Putting it out on the line often means we then will be accountable for our actions and have a better chance of achieving our dreams.
Perhaps you could offer offer an alternative when social invitations arise. You might not be able to afford go out to dinner and a movie, but maybe you can have a night in with a video, popcorn and drinks. Could your friends come back for a cuppa and bickies later? Have a supper or dinner party at home where friends are responsible for different plates to share, and importantly, let others know when your kicking your financial goals. Have a celebratory bubbles or whatever lights your fire, when you do clear the credit card. We often forget to pat ourselves on the back, even for little achievements, so have milestones that you work to along the way and enjoy the sense of achievement as you go.
Often saying ‘I can’t afford it’ feels shameful or embarrassing and we may feel we’re a burden on our friends, even a killjoy, but there’s no shame in standing up and being honest about what you choose to spend your hard earned dollars on.
Possibly, some of your friends may even be inspired to watch their own dollars and cents more closely, or take better charge of their financial journey.
It’s your choice to shrug off the shame and make positive and constructive choices around money.
And if you want a hand with budgeting, don’t be afraid to ask. An investment in ‘getting it together’ may just be the best decision you’ll ever make!
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Posted on February 2, 2014
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